“It struck him that the truly characteristic thing about modern life was not its cruelty and insecurity, but simply its bareness, its dinginess, its listlessness. Life, if you looked about you, bore no resemblance not only to the lies that streamed out of the telescreen, but even to the ideals that the Party was trying to achieve. The ideal set up by the Party was something huge, terrible, and glittering—a world of steel and concrete, of monstrous machines and terrifying weapons—a nation of warriors and fanatics marching forward in perfect unity, all thinking the same thoughts and shouting the same slogans…” 1984.  still dont know what to make of it.

11.07

Aspirations to be free from all materialistic restraints. I want to sell my money  to the highest bidder. I want to be able to travel not in poverty but in life. There’s nothing nobody needs which isn’t already free, but even that stretches only to gain from egos. Peace and love can no longer exist in Brittan. The streets are swarmed with the snakes. I have the guilty conscious that of being human. We have destroyed each other and all life with it. There never was love between ourselves, just our flawed ambitions.    

<.03

Terrible days ,
endless nights,
no missed alerts
"I Don't know why I'm even alive"
half- hearted promises.
Cheap cold glances.
Lies.
Lies.
Lies.
Feeling nothing at all ,
Its an empty life.
Its an empty life indeed,
but I can't remember it any other way